Lyrics to The Hussy's Please Secure Your Valuables

All songs written by McColl/The Hussys, produced by Jimmy Neilson.

Instruments of the Orchestra

D C# B G / G (F#) E D E
Tchaikovsky, Prokofiev
Sat across from me
Just a little to the left
With a shiny French horn
I was reborn
Amongst the instruments of the orchestra
Instruments of the orchestra
Must not waste
It's my big chance
Like Mendelssohn
Could spark a great romance
To be rose
My blood runs cold
Amongst the instruments of the orchestra
The instruments of the orchestra
Pictures of the great composers looking down from the walls
Saying "what the hell you doing?"
Pictures of the great composers looking down from the walls
Saying "our music is in ruins!"
I like the way
The dye is switched
Cor anglais is exquisite
From a cello in the bends
I just can't win
Amongst the instruments of the orchestra
The instruments of the orchestra
Pictures of the great composers looking down from the walls
Saying "what the hell you doing?"
Pictures of the great composers looking down from the walls
Saying "our music is in ruins"
"our music is in ruins" [x3]
[Repeat first verse]

Jenny Teaches Rock School

B D-D#-F-G#-B G# D# B
Jenny teaches rock school in the summer in the sunshine at the college
Although she hates it,
She tolerates it
Because it pays the bills
And gets her money to escape in
Jenny teaches Pro Tools,
And does some talks about performing at the high school
Jenny shows them death metal, and how to bust some crazy moves in the ghetto
And she's a little bit uptight about that dinner party tonight
She's gonna show them how to roll,
And put the rock back in their soul
Jenny, thinking about that gig she played supporting one of rock's influential figures
And she wonders why her cult band were not a little tiny bit bigger
And she's a little bit uptight about that chippy shoot tonight
She's gonna show them how to roll,
And put the rock back in their soul
[Instrumental]
Jenny teaches rock school in the summer in the sunshine at the college
Although she hates it,
She tolerates it
'Cause it pays the bills
And gets her money to escape in
And she's a little bit uptight about that dinner party tonight
She's gonna show them how to roll,
And put the rock back in their soul
Jenny.

Neon Triple X

B E-F B F#-E / D
The pictures shine on the walls
They play Jenga on the floor
Three floors up, room 49
The one with the red door
The club told me to lift my things, he handed me the key
The happy couple stood by the payphone
They kept staring at me
Neon triple X, neon triple X
The lightning bolt's gonna strike me
Satan, won't you get behind me
Thunderclaps in the distance
Give this girl a big hand
I don't remember checking the time
I think it had just gone past 9
The television's got two channels
One's the static anyway
In the distance I hear sirens
They're coming from inside of me
Neon triple X, neon triple X
The lightning bolt's gonna strike me
Satan won't you get behind me
Neon triple X, neon triple X
The lightning bolt's gonna strike me
Satan won't you get behind me
[Guitar solo]
Neon triple X, neon triple X
The lightning bolt's gonna strike me
Satan won't you get behind me
[Repeat]

Car Boot Sale

G A B C
Are you coming back next week?
I'll see you at 6am
And if it rains you can have some tea
And in my van we'll be friends
The man at the car boot sale knew nothing about our love
Second hand
The man at the car boot sale knew nothing about our love
Second hand
I'm a limited edition
I've got a tramp stamp on my back
All the Corgis in your collection
Will have to compete for my affection
The man at the car boot sale knew nothing about our love
Second hand
The man at the car boot sale knew nothing about our love
Second hand
[Keyboard solo]
Are you coming back next week?
I'll get a table next to you
I'll see you at 6am
Let's hope these Sunday mornings never end
The man at the car boot sale knew nothing about our love
Second hand
The man at the car boot sale knew nothing about our love
Second hand
[Outro]

Stars

A G D / B A E A
Neutrons and protons
Inside you and me
Little calculations,
That make us so unique
The speed of light is much too slow for them
Won't you be
Or weren't you listening?
We are made of stars
We are made of stars
It's simple chemistry
We are made of stars
Yo, scented physics
Who told you that?
It's not that complicated
If you've got a calculator
The speed of light is much too slow for me
I want you here right now
I want you next to me
We are made of stars
We are made of stars
It's simple chemistry
We are made of stars
[Repeat] [Guitar solo]
The speed of light is much too slow for me
Won't you here right now
Or weren't you listening?
We are made of stars
We are made of stars
It's simple chemistry
We are made of stars
[Outro]

Last Person Alive

D B / D A G
Got chased by a Nissan in an empty multi-storey
There was no joy for it was talking to a server in California
I'm near the big concrete pillar and I watch the city emptier than ever
There was an airship in the sky it was looking for me with the all-seeing eye
Oh, I'm the last person alive
Oh, I'm the last person alive
I long to hear your voice
Any voice, or just a tape recording
I want to eat something that isn't out of a tin
I want to hold somebody
Oh, I'm the last person alive
Oh, I'm the last person alive
I want to tell the world
I want to tell the world
I want to tell the world
But there's nobody there [repeat]
Oh, I'm the last person alive
I know there wasn't werewolves in my head
Yeah, I've got a plan
I'm sick of running from machines
I want to hold somebody's hand
Oh, I'm the last person alive
Oh, I'm the last person alive

Trenchcoat

C / D# C
Plays trombone in a marching band
Pretends his got his skull/coat in his hands
Listens all night to Joy Division
While he's trying to do his maths revision
Doesn't wanna take driving lessons,
Won't get in a Micra, it's too depressing
Sits on the sign at the edge of town
Has to jump in sky and find the town
It's Hallowe'en every day
Don't let your eyeliner get in the way
Have trenchcoat will travel
Have trenchcoat will travel
Dyes his hair in the kitchen
Reflecting to think boy he's looking bitching
Born in a leap year he hates his dad
But in 10 years time he's the best that he's had
Doesn't need drugs, pretends he's chilling
Doctor says he's allergic to penicillin
Sits on the sign at the edge of town
Has to jump in sky and find the town
It's Hallowe'en every day
Don't let your eyeliner get in the way
Have trenchcoat will travel
Have trenchcoat will travel
[Psychedelic instrumental]
There's an odd nut goth in another town
Waiting for him, and she won't let him down
Forges a note with his mum's writing, says
Doesn't want his his business card in in the volleyball net
Sits in the forest doesn't seem to be scared
That a serial killer will find them there
Painting each other's finger nails black
Let's leave this town and never come back
It's Hallowe'en every day
Don't let your eyeliner get in the way
Have trenchcoat will travel
Have trenchcoat will travel

Daddy Daycare

A B D F#-E
Daddy daycare
Sitting in the park laughing
Daddy daycare
Multitasking, he's doing his thing
Pushing the swings
Thinking about things
It's not so bad
It's not so bad
Daddy daycare
Talking to mums, he's all fingers and thumbs
Daddy daycare
Doing his best, but his brain needs a rest
Pushing the swings
Thinking about things
It's not so bad [x2]
And the sky makes him sad
Daddy daycare
Watching the pennies, cause they're on a %?
Daddy daycare
He wasn't wired, and he's feeling tired
Pushing the swings
Thinking about things
Goes out of work, and he feels like he's done
Pushing the swings
Thinking about things
It's not so bad
And the sky makes him sad
Daddy daycare [ad lib]

Just About Finished With Love

F C Bb C Bb C F / F Bb / G C
The frost on the tallest pine tree couldn't feel as cold as me
I was just about finished with love
I was just about finished with love
My mind was down a rabbit hole I was young but I was acting old
I was just about finished with love
I was just about finished with love
It's ok, I got over it
It's ok, I got over it
The owl in the forest tonight
Could have seen that I was somewhat uptight
I was just about finished with love
I was just about finished with love
I need to get some fresh sunrise
To get back that feeling of surprise
I was just about finished with love
I was just about finished with love
It's ok, I got over it
It's ok, I got over it [repeat]

Caledonian Sun

A F C Bb
I'll be your friend if you want me
I can do that whole Carole King vibe
If you shut your eyes and count to three,
We'll be in Laurel Canyon on our bikes
It's a matter of mind for this baby
Waiting for that feeling to come
Like a little Caledonian sun
It takes it's time but it comes along
Like a little Caledonian sun
I'll be your friend if you want me
James Taylor with a little more hair
Like a health food restaurant or a chippy
Whatever you want I'll be there
It's a matter of mind for this baby
Waiting for that feeling to come
Like a little Caledonian sun
It takes it's time but it comes along
Like a little Caledonian sun
[Instrumental] I'll be your friend if you want me
I can do that whole Carole King vibe
If you shut your eyes and count to three,
You'll be in the swimming pool by my side
It's a matter of mind for this baby
Waiting for that feeling to come
Like a little Caledonian sun
It takes it's time but it comes along
Like a little Caledonian sun
Lyrics to the unreleased songs.