Please Be Gentle With Me
Please be gentle with me
'cause I've been on a long hard losing streak,
And my clothes don't seem to fit
Yes my haircut's looking sh*t
Please be gentle with me
Yes my backside is hanging in the breeze
Oh I've been down in the dumps,
I've been well and truly humped,
I say to myself:
"Have I been cursed?
Things are bad can they get worse?"
Please be gentle with me
Yes my singing has gone flat out of key
Oh I've been down in the bin,
Crawled out and back in again
[Instrumental]
Please be gentle with me [repeat]
Smile
Every silver lining has a cloud
And each piece of good fortune must be paid for by the pound
I've become so cynical these days,
I don't know how it started but it won't go away
See the lines around my eyes,
See the sarcasm in my smile,
You'd better smile
Smile [x15]
Cause that's all that you've got left,
Your life's a mess, you've been cut adrift
You'd better smile [x2]
I feel like a dalek inside,
Everything's gone grey but used to be so black and white
See the lines around my eyes,
See the sarcasm in my smile,
You'd better smile
Smile [x15]
I've become so cynical these days,
I don't know how it started but it won't go away
You'd better smile [x2]
Cause that's all that you've got left,
Your life's a mess, you've been cut adrift.
Glimpse Of The Light
You left a big hole
Bigger than one the council would have dug
And I tried to fill it, but most of the applicants were duds
Oh you slipped through my hands
Like water through sand
And left only dust
And I saw you last week,
Out with your mum round the waterworks
And it doesn't matter if I was wrong or right,
At least you gave me a glimpse of the light
A glimpse of the light
We all make mistakes and then
When you've made enough
You call it experience
I don't want to go back
I don't want a second chance
And it doesn't matter if I was wrong or was right,
At least you gave me a glimpse of the light
A glimpse of the light [guitar solo]
And it doesn't matter if I was wrong or was right,
At least you gave me a glimpse of the light
A glimpse of the light [Ad lib to fade]
Lazy Lover
She's been giving me hassle 'bout my attitude
I've been catching up on my sleep
"Why don't you make a very special effort?"
"Why don't you just give me peace?"
I try to fix it so many times
But there's something wrong with my mind, because
I'm her lover, her lazy, lazy lover
I can't be bothered getting into bed
I'm her lover, her lazy, lazy lover
I'd much rather do it in my head
Sitting in her garden, sitting in a deckchair,
She's in a swimsuit eating ice-cream
Looking delicious,
Don't mean to be malicious
But my mind isn't where it should be.
I try to fix it so many times
But there's something wrong with my mind, because
I'm her lover, her lazy, lazy lover
I can't be bothered getting into bed
I'm her lover, her lazy, lazy lover
I'd much rather do it in my head
I try to fix it so many times
But there's something wrong with my mind, because
I'm her lover, her lazy, lazy lover
I'd much rather do something else instead
[repeat]
Love Has Passed Away
[Simulated crackle] Today I woke up with a headache
I took some pills but I don't think that I'm ready
To face the truth in world without you
I'm so tired, I turned on the TV,
But it's just not the same when you're not here with me
To laugh at my jokes,
Put a stick in my spokes, well
Love has passed away
But I visit it's grave every day
I put my coat on and outside it's pouring
My city's dull, and my life is so boring
I feel see-through, in a world without you
Love has passed away
But I visit it's grave every day
I'm still touched by your presence, dear
It's just not the same when you're not here
I'm still touched by your presence, dear
Today I woke up with a headache
I took some pills but I don't think that I'm ready
To face the world without you girl
I've given up on the way I look
Stopped going to the football
And I've stopped reading books
I keep myself together by saying it's not forever
Love has passed away
But I visit it's grave every day
I'm still touched by your presence, dear
It's just not the same when you're not here
I'm still touched by your presence, dear
Love has passed away
But I visit it's grave every day
Dung Beetle
Is this the fag-end, dead-end
Place where we must cease
Now take my hand and I'll lead you to the guillotine
Look at that mascara running down your cheek-bones
You'll have to get used to being alone
Your stuffing's ripped
And your face is looking pretty beat
But this is one game you face certain defeat
Don't throw the radio into the bathtub
Don't take those pills 'cause you don't know what'll come of it
I'm sorry all the same
If I'm a liar,
But you'll find another flame
To light your fire
Your melodramatic gestures won't do any good
This thing has run its course and
I wouldn't change it if I could
Don't throw the radio into the bathtub
Don't take those pills 'cause you don't know what'll come of it
I'm sorry all the same
If I'm a liar,
But you'll find another flame
To light your fire
[repeat]
Stammer
Recently I've been talking with a stammer
She's got me underneath the hammer
When I said that you were ugly
I meant your personality
I went and made a small mistake
Which was the straw that caused the break
When the pieces fall in place
And they fall back out again
We could sink without trace
Misery has become my second nature
She's got me so wound up I hate her
Can't you see your majesty?
This attention's really getting me
A word of thanks to you my friend
I've been lost and found and back again
When the pieces fall in place
And they fall back out again
We could sink without trace
When I said that you were ugly
I meant your personality
I Don't Think So
September and the leaves are dying, but I'm still alive
I'm feeling optimistic but I don't know why
Everything has come to nothing, Is that a surprise?
Looking back in hindsight it's easy to be wise
Don't give up your day job,
Just be content with your lot,
Empty your head of those big ideas,
Maybe I'm not even listening
to your idle comments,
Take all your words and disappear
Maybe you're a little bitter,
maybe you're a little twisted,
Maybe I can see crystal clear.
Maybe I'm not even listening
to your idle comments,
Take all your words and disappear
Don't give up your day job,
Just be content with your lot,
Empty your head of those big ideas,
I don't think so [x2]
I don't think so (Ba ba bah)
[guitar solo]
Don't give up your day job,
Just be content with your lot,
Empty your head of those big ideas,
I don't think so [x3]
Pie In The Sky
You glued inside my head
Your photo's under the bed
But I can't go back that far
To driving in your car
We'd roll the windows down
We were out of town
Does he fit you like a glove?
Do you pretend that you're in love?
But you can't get over me
That's what I like to believe
It's all just pie in the sky
I fueled this plane with lies
In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter
I'll get through it a little bruised and battered
Maybe someday I can just laugh at myself
[Trumpet solo by Robert Henderson]
A little thorny candleway
Is still with me today
The Day Before Yesterday's Man
Jesus, I'm freakin'
I've had such a weekend,
I think I must be turning to dust.
My girlfriend has dumped me,
and headed for the country,
For a boy who wears white socks.
I wish the pavements were burning,
And summer was coming along.
Instead I'm virtually freezing
Working on this boring old song
'Cause when the sh*t hits the fan,
[Alt: When the trash hits the can.]
You know I've always been an also-ran
Please please understand,
'Cause I'm the day before yesterdays man
The day before yesterday
The day before yesterday.
My palms are sweating,
Trying hard forgetting
Things that I didn't even say,
There's nothing on the box,
and I'm getting desperate thoughts
That I just can't keep at bay.
I wish the tables were turning
And something was coming along.
Instead I'm virtually freaking
Everything is going so wrong
'Cause when the sh*t hits the fan,
You know I've always been an also-ran
Please please understand,
'Cause I'm the day before yesterdays man
The day before yesterday [repeat]
Jesus, I'm freakin'
I've had such a weekend,
I think I must be turning to God.
[Outro]
Prepare To Land
Isn't it about time?
Isn't it about time
You faced up to the facts,
That you and me are heading for the axe?
Isn't it about time
You cut the safety net,
And said goodbye to the bitterness and regrets?
A gulf has opened up between up between us,
You have to face the facts
The tyre's burst,
You can't go back
We've used it up there is no slack.
Isn't it about time
We went our separate ways
And said that this old dog has had it's day?
Isn't it about time
We brought the curtain down
Of all those idle dead-ends that we found?
The ground has opened up between up between us,
You have to face the facts
The tyre's burst
You can't go back
We've used it up there is no slack.[keyboard solo]
You let the cat out of the bag,
And every day is just a drag.
A gulf has opened up between up between us,
You have to face the facts
The tyre's burst
You can't go back
We've used it up there is no slack.
Trees
Trees are all stripping off for winter
Somehow that reminds me of yer
Sitting in the passenger seat
My life, it used to be so complete
Thought I might 'phone you up this Christmas
And pretend that I haven't missed you
There are layers of self deception
And I've reached the bottom without question
I don't wanna talk about it
Bitterness and
Inadequacy [x2]
I am far from overjoyed
Screwed the whole thing up
And that I can't avoid
Caught up this culdisac
I really want my old life back
Trees are all stripping off for winter
I really hate December
It's a 31-day graveyard
I think I'm ready for the scrapyard
I don't wanna talk about it
Bitterness and
Inadequacy [x2]
I am far from overjoyed
I screwed the whole thing up
And that I can't avoid
Caught up this culdisac
I really want my old life back
Email me if you work out guitar/piano music to any of the songs.
